Think before you blink and you might just make it

Yeah, well, that was another swimmin' edition of 'Too Close to the Bone'. I hope you got your psychiatric meat out of that cause otherwise it woulda been traumatisin' fer no good reason. And we all gotta scrabble fer that, else, we're never gonna get out of 'ere.

Charmin'.

[Spam for the Pub.]

[So he'd graduated. He'd walked into his bathroom and found a bath. He'd stared at it and sighed. Bloody thing was dirty.

It was a couple of hours of not deciding where to go (even though the answer was creeping at the back of his mind, he knew where) before he got himself up and headed up to the pub.

All by myself, he childishly mimicked in his head.

He was going to get plastered and go.]

[Public, last thing after the pub]

Right, I'm off.

[Here's Slater in his usual long coat and 'you're all a pain in my backside' expression.] Listen, I don't know where you new lot are coming from, but stay out of the way unless you know what you're doin'. Unless you do know what you're doin'... in which case just don't get in my way, all right? Enough trouble...

Just here. [He sends the latest intelligence of what's going on.] Don't leave a mess.

OOC PREFERENCES:
•CONTACT METHOD: PM or email
•THREAD-JACKING: So long as you take it elsewhere if a) turn it into a in-person conversation b) private settings that my character is not privy to. B is not that much of a deal to me, though.
•FOURTH WALLING / CANON PUNCTURE: Perfectly fine.
•BACKTAGGING: Not a problem at all, I could go on forever.
•AVOIDED TOPICS: Rape. I don't want to involved with torture directly.

IC CHARACTERISTICS:
•PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Slater is a tall, balding man with a permanent scowl on his face. He is usually seen in a long coat over an oldish suit. He smells of cigarettes and alcohol occasionally, but he doesn't overindulge in either. He has a slight slouch.
•DEMEANOR: He's a textbook malcontent and misanthrope. He'll peer and glare at you and is generally unpleasant and sarcastic. He's also pretty cowardly. He does have a soft side, but you'll never see it.
•ABILITIES: He knows cop stuff. Otherwise, none.
•MEDICAL INFORMATION: Long term effects of drinking and smoking. Nothing life threatening. Though his initial death seemed to have been caused by anerysm, which may occur again.
•OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS: Incest, domestic violence.

IC PERMISSIONS:
•MENTAL: Can another character use mental abilities on your character? Fine.
•MIMICRY: Can another character imitate your character in physical appearance and/or voice? Why on Earth would you want to is a mystery but I don't have any objections.
•VIOLENCE: Can another character provoke a physical fight with your character? He won't get provoked, he'll just leave.
•MAGIC: Can another character use magic on your character? Sure.
•DEBATE: Can another character pursue yours for a debate. He'll break it off if he's not interested. He's rarely interested.
•OTHER / NOTES: He's only human and not a threat to anyone. I don't really want him roughed up any more than you'd expect a comedic character from a gentle enough sitcom.

Dear To Slater. Roy.

Roy.

It's Del Boy. All right?

Look. Let's level here. You're not all right. You're dead. ( Awkward time... )

[This 'Rosy' Slater is as equally unimpressed with the Barge as her male counterpart is.] Yeah. Hate to interrupt the Carry On Sex Change, Barge Unfunny Edition here, but anybody got a bleedin' needle 'n' thread available? Buttons off my coat are missin'. Cheers. [She picks up a whiskey glass, 'toasts' and takes a sip, waiting for an answer.]

Right then. [There's a big old pause here because a) while that sounded firm, Slater's no clue where he is and b) he's not entirely sure this thing can hear him and he's not just talking to a telly. He's revealing his nervousness by rolling a metal slinky back and forth in his hands.] Yeah. Uh. Where am I and... well this ain't home. Not even London, no traffic, so maybe anybody tell me how I got here?

Loki's gone. If you give a toss. [Speaking of which he tosses Loki's letter over his shoulder and off the deck of the barge.]

What did I want? Flagg offered me a deal an' I took it. Not because I believed he'd live up to 'is end, 'cause that's dumb. Someone can't promise ya something concrete, they ain't going to deliver. A 'wish'? [Snort.]

Yeah, I wish to be outta here. And mebbe that's what got people into it. I got into it because I didn't wanna get eaten. I get dragged 'ere against my will, I'm not goin' to stick my neck out for you lot benefittin' from it. And no matter how many 'bonding exercises' the Admiral's going to put us through, I ain't going to change that.

And no, I didn't live up to my end neither.

[A teenaged Slater sits back from his communicator and leans back on his chair, he's actually amused.] Too old for ya, Admiral? [Snort.] Hey, I don't mind. Fountain of Youth's all good with me!

[Muttered out of shot.] A pirate. Bleedin' hell, Admiral, trading was bad enough. Bloody Dell Boy haunting me and I'm the one who's supposed to be dead!